Standing solitary in yellow grief illness
I mind kiss his lips
He knows not my dark wet sorrow, my red desires
He knows not my candle in the wind moment
Slow and uneven in this raining night.
His face brightness exiled me into heterosexual state
Where I remember my own childhood cries
-faggot! -queer!
Back when summer brought shorts on bikes
And bear back view of bent backs.
Now my thoughts penetrate his clothing,
My hands would mingle through his hair,
Beneath my slight blue breath, I whisper river bank poems
Filled with deep autumn aspen leaves, wind, rain, mud and hand rubbing him clean.
Standing in my yellowish sorrow on this withering Denver street
I am sunk in night rain
To know who isn’t in his arms.
I am here to take him if he comes into my wet.
I am not the strongest of my kind
Here collecting different views of him;
Movie camera zooming in masterfully
To catch every hair’s end
Every silent touch of his tongue movement
Every new, old growth that fall from him
In this crystals rain
Every east wind blink
Every dead finger nail petal, when pressed the color of strawberry spots.
My sight sucks on him double through magnify drops
On my lashes and all is clear
All drift through, coming from and into me
My river blood is stirred
Touching every hill and valley in this creation that is me.
Only his breath is held from me
Rain keep it low
East wind keeps it far
Making his breathe flow an unfrequented spot for no return.
Within a wet foot of my face
This cold oily night neon crack
Like butterscotch candy dropped into hot coffee,
Color swirl on the surface
Of muddy concrete
Rain steam up in small drops moved by the waves of wind
Rain steams off hot surface of street lights, it brighten city cars
A painted face slides away.
Barely visible is he, pieces scattered in a sign blink.
I stand erect in chill
Ready to travel home
To flood my way alone
And he is before me
Having skipped water to reach me
Asking me to ferry him home
Yet I have no boat but words
Do I dare to poetize his beauty?
Up close, his lips are as ripe as sweet pea pods
And as red as pomegranate seeds
I look away
He is amused and I feel that we are traces in wet world with living them.
I allow his amusement to be my resource;
Inquiring into his winds and storms
He laugh
I look down at myself
He stop and with both hands touches
I am rewarded when he kiss spectacle for any watching.
His sweet pea lips have warmth behind them
His camera eyes have a steel shrapnel spark,
His touch is gentle thunder.
He is real with past affairs, fears,
He has played the actor.
I want to get to know him
To enter into the room that he is
To sleep with him without Thornwood under our pillows
To enter and if his river be frost wine
I will be steam tweezers
Blood blister rushing into his story
Removing frost that all flow;
Like the name of his father, mother
And the look of strangers whom have boiled him.
I make comments, speak of his dew down
On imperial phoenix,
On his home and its color,
On dust scent darken behind summer sandals.
We reach my room, I offer rice, beans and poetry;
Delicious eye food removed from the icebox for small talk.
He dries himself and strip to pose in my wicker chair
Asking my gazing eyes
For more then a bath robe
My only, made of Korea red silk.
I see in him night long
And day long our song with sweet sweat falls.
I see sorrow one shade into blue and buried learned ways
I see chill beside warmth with a greenish hue.
Height-long in sweat
We lay erect, breathe locked
His face brightness is now mine
I am becoming stronger with my kind.